We are back from France and I wanted to update you on the results of my visit. Let’s review what has happened to me in the past month:  I completed a retreat and let go of the old anger I had stored up at the church and I took a month off which gave the cells of my body time to absorb the release of all that old emotion. Because I took a vacation right after the retreat, I gave myself the creative vacuum that allowed new insights to emerge.   In my vacation spot in France,  I found I was sitting on one of the biggest spiritual sites in the world; I experienced a profound moment of connection to the religious group murdered some 1000 years ago; I just happened to be writing a book about this Gnostic religion;  a friend just happened to hand me a fiction book about the Gnostics right before I left and the setting was exactly where I was staying; I accepted the idea that these events were leading me somewhere; and I finished my book!  I experienced nothing short of a personal transformation.

The Gnostics call it “Gnosis” which means knowledge of the divine.  Or, and I know you will smile at this revelation, Gnosis is a “mindset”.  From being on this side of the trip, I know now that something happened in France that changed my life forever. I believe that I experienced this state of mind called Gnosis that the Cathars, the Gnostic group who believed the same as I do about the message of Christ, staked their lives on.  And it is all about one moment—a God moment where everything became clear about my entire life.

The moment of Gnosis happened to me as you may remember when I held my head in my hands and wept at the top of climb to Montsegur, the location of the final siege for the Cathars.  I felt them in my bones.  I felt their pain and their suffering and I was inspired by their courage.  I will never forget that moment of connection to them.  I say I was crying but it wasn’t about being sad it was about an intense relief that I knew.  It was a moment of profound peace and well -being and warmth-I just remember the insight at the moment of recognition of our similarities.  With it came clarity and instant recognition of why I am here.  I felt in that moment I was watching myself from afar hearing someone tell me the meaning of my life. And the relief I felt was so profound that I wanted it to last forever. It was like quenching a thirst I have had all my life, the end to a long search for God.  But it was just one moment. And what now?

I know after sitting with this moment for several days that it has had a profound change to my life. It is diverting the course of my life.  It has illuminated a different path to take in life. And the light that indicates the next step is so bright I can’t miss it!   I will never be the same as before I made that visit.  The realization that has come from that moment is the destiny I was sent to this earth to carry out.